Bitch, Please.

There is a special breed of student that irritates the hell out of me. They pop out immediately after grades are posted, and they try to use their newfound powers of critical thinking against you. I'm referring to the B+ student. There is always at least one student in my classes at the end of each semester who believes that I am in great error, and that they are, in fact, a superior writer, rather than the slightly above average thinker I've already judged them to be.

What seemed to be a reasonably responsive and participating student turns into a Machiavelian minor warlord, trying to out-manuever me into admitting they really do have just those few extra points. The victory this student wants to declare is not over her grade alone, but over the entire teaching process--she clearly has more of a mastery of judging quality writing than I do.

Bitch, please.

I can already tell which one it's going to be; past experience has shown me that it's the type-A usually female (the dudes don't challenge my grading--I think they're scared) who thinks this class is a waste of her time; getting a B+ is like getting a backhand across the face.

I mean, obviously, that B+ can keep her from a number of important life goals, like love, peace and understanding. It's worth fighting over, dammit.

Maybe I shouldn't be so harsh on her. After all, everything in her culture tells her that to be less than superior is to fail miserably. Most students either stare at me uncomprehendingly or slackjawed when I tell them that C=average, remember? It should be a compliment to be above average (B). It's tough to be superior. It ought to stand for something.

I ran her grade several times, making sure I wasn't screwing up; I actually expected her to get an A, and when she didn't, it surprised me. I listed out all the things that kept her from getting an A, because I knew she'd ask. I thought I was saving a step, and I probably was. This in spite of the fact that she wrote in several different assignments that she thought she was better than 101 and didn't see why she had to take it, and expected to breeze right through it. A B+ must be particularly deflating.

I expect this one has enough gumption to file for a grade review. Where, I hope, she'll be taken to task. Grade reviews are successful only 3% of the time, and they're usually accompanied by a self-esteem dashing list of all your faults as a writer that prevent you from getting whatever it was you asked for. I know most of the people that serve on the "blind" review. I've had my work judged by half of them. They take themselves very, very seriously.

I can't wait. I'll even make myself a drink and pull up my chair on the 50 yard line.

-- Virgil