I Went to Play at the MLA--Part 1

So, long time no blog.

After classes were officially over, I still had to finish my own work, which took an extra two weeks to do. Then we jetted for San Francisco and the MLA (Modern Language Association) conference for people who teach English composition, rhetoric, literature, theory, etc & foreign languages at the university level (although the foreign language people were banished to a different hotel). It's the big poop of the English world. El Hijo was presenting a paper there. I was there for moral support and to nose around and mock the process. When we came back on the 31st, we were jet lagged for a day or so, and then it was run, run, run to Kentucky to get Dante back again. And now, I'm putting together my game plan for Spring semester with a set of classes I've never taught before. So, been a little busy. I'd really rather be blogging anyway, though.

MLA. LOL.

The ironic thing about this conference is that it's sort of like attending a Trekkie national conference, only if everybody on the incoming planes wore their Trekkie outfit of choice. We do, apparently, have a uniform, and most of us tend to stick to that uniform. We have several varieties of uniform, but the primary one includes wearing squarish glasses, sweaters, dark jeans (if you're a grad student), and looking like you have a stick up your ass. The older men usually have beards (who knew?). We carry around interesting bags filled with obscure books so we look smart. The other uniform, apparently, is to come in looking like a hot, thirty-something lesbian, preferably with a shortish, spiky-ish hair style. If you don't know what that looks like, you really need to get out more. There were a couple of grad student outliers who had all-pink hair, nose rings, spikes & all. To which I thought, why??? I get that you're being an "individual" (which, really, that's so overdone now that you're really not), but god let's hope you're not on the job market. If your primary goal is to say "I don't care what you think" to everyone around you, don't be surprised if everyone around you assumes you won't care what students or your colleagues think either. You prolly won't get hired. Just sayin'.

Another way of ferreting out who was in the hotel for the conference was the way everyone kept these tight little pretentious smiles on their faces whenever they caught anyone looking at them. The smile said, "I'm cool. I'm smart. I've noticed you, and you should be thankful." But what it really means is, "I think I just crapped my pants." It was pretty amusing to just people watch.

I have more updates to report in upcoming posts. JP & B!, I saw the white haired lady who came to our illustrious campus to talk about that book we all had to use--the goddess of composition? She was there. So was a certain lady theorist who pranced into our lives when Stellarc did. Remember that? Heard her take the piss out of an older, also equally famous dude named Fish (remember him?).

If you want to know what everyone else who went there thought about MLA, check out Rate Your Students, particularly here and here. Hilarious.

But probably the best explanation of the atmosphere came inside the elevator on our way up to our room that first night. It was packed; some people were wearing their conference badges (like geeks). An older couple was packed in with us, and the old guy turned and looked at one of us and said, "What's this 'MLA' business here, anyway?" Two of us answered. My answer was, "It's a bunch of English professors and foreign language teachers." "Not really my thing," the old guy replied. "Me neither," I responded. But the other woman's answer was better. When he had asked what the MLA convention was about, she responded: "We're pirates."

We totally should've gone with her answer. It was much cooler than the reality.

-- DV