Just Leave 'Em Be!

I have just got to say something about all the discussion I'm seeing on that "other" board.

"What do you do about children who don't seem to be motivated by anything?"
"Am I too hard on my children?"
"Am I expecting too much?"
"All of the joy has gone out of our day."

And my personal favorite was the one who thought her child might *gasp* be AVERAGE. Here's the text that really got my knickers twisted:

"I read WTM and think that I want the best for ds and want him to excel, to be well-educated, well-read, intelligent, able to clearly express himself, etc. But I don't know if he's really such an exceptional student that he will end up being Ivy League material. In all honesty he's a pretty average kid - bright, but not exceptional. But if I don't give him the rigorous education, am I depriving him of opportunities later on? I guess the question is - Is WTM written for every child or just the exceptional ones? I don't want to push ds so hard that he absolutely hates school and resents learning. Tell me it's okay to just let him be a kid for now, to allow him to be 'average'."

Umm...It's OK. What is with people who expect their kids to be these little Latin automatons who never misbehave, quote fine poetry for fun and I suppose now we can add wear prayer hem clothing?? Whatever happened to simply teaching kids how to think for themselves and how to learn? Who cares about Ivy Leagues?

It became ragingly apparent to me after using the Well Trained Mind as a spine for a few short weeks that this *wasn't*going*to*work*. It would've been great for me as a kid. My own son hated it. Within weeks we were doing lots of reading, lots of playing outside and I was making up more things for him to do than Rainbow Resource could hold in their catalog!

If your kids aren't motivated, maybe there's a good reason they shouldn't be. How many of us give our absolute 100% best effort at a job we despise? If they ain't liking it, find a way around that. But for heaven's sakes, don't break the kid's spirit. I think in general, lots of personal experiences and being able to read well are the basis for an educated mind. Or a mind that seeks to know.

But I get the feeling that most of these people don't want their children to "seek" anything. The parents might not like what they find! I think that's what disappointed me most on the board (and that was BEFORE I saw the Xtian mobs at work!); that this wasn't the quest for knowledge and to join the Great Conversation. It was essentially to show out (look my 3-year-old is doing Latin!) and to super impose some sort of mythical Xtian value system on top of Western culture.

I know I'm an idealist. All I want, though, is for my Dante to embrace the world with open arms and feel confident that he can have a piece of whatever he wants. And that he not get caught up in any Circles of Hell (that's what I'm here for).

--Virgil