Vote for Virgil
I had no idea I was running for anything, until the attack ad questioning my economic proposals hit the blogosphere. So, since the gauntlet has been laid down, I will answer the challenge. Here is why you should Vote for Virgil.
Virgil is environmentally friendly and is endorsed by the ASPCA and the Humane Society. She is a friend to the animals. As a matter of fact, she can tame the savage beast.
Virgil supports your right to bear arms. Her foreign policy expert has intergalactic experience:
Virgil is the only official candidate endorsed and supported by the most important female activist agency in the United States. And they ain't too happy with the other candidates right now:
As to the slanders against my economic policies, I will defer to my choice of treasury secretary on that one:
Virgil has a "maverick" reputation. This is evidenced by the fact that she took on her own department. And won. JP has never taken on anything, and he still managed to lose.
Eat that, JP.
Besides, it's well known that JP's foreign policy "expert" is this guy:
JP's plans will cost, shall we say, billions? He's in the pockets of big (evil) corporations. And what exactly have they gotten the average Joe lately?
JP: not ready for the real world. Not ready to lead.
Dante's Virgil: HBIC
-- I'm DV, and I approve this message.
posted by contemplator at Tuesday, October 28, 2008
3 Comments:
My foreign policy expert has a "laser" and a "time machine." He's a real rags-to-riches story.
The details of his life are quite inconsequential.... His father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with a low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. His mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. His father would drink, he would womanize. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. His childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring his family would make meat helmets. When he was insolent he was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve he received his first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved his testicles.
There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I suggest you try it.
Do you want to compete with experience like that.
Evil the Doctor supports my campaign. For every Joe Six-Death-Ray out there, my supporters are fighting for America.
JP--so you're admitting publicly you consort with known and unrepentant terrorists?
Batmite!: I think we could look into some kind of power sharing arrangment. A sort of...coalition government.
He brought it on himself.
Think of how we can bury him by combining campaign forces...
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