Aposto-Fest

I was thinking on my way down to the conference (Lo-oong drive) about how I don't post what my former religion actually was. BridgetJ had asked, and I thought I'd been cute in giving clues about knocking on people's doors and pestering them with religion. I was thinking especially about how I'm super hesitant to give out information about myself and what "happened" to me in that religion.

See, when I was 18 almost 19, I was officially kicked out--they call it disfellowshipping--and what that means is that no one from the church can have contact with me except my direct family members. And they used to prohibit family members. Now, that's not such a bad thing, as these people are sheeple, and have nothing of any interest whatsoever to say, and start off every exclamation with "Oh, my word!" But when you're 19, it's tough when everybody who's known you since you were born pretends that they literally don't see you standing there and can't hear you speak.

Most people can't take the pressure, I think, solely based on empirical evidence from all the people I know who got kicked out and eventually went back in. I think they feel awkward in the real world, because they've been taught to stay separate from it, and they have this heavy psychological burden from being shunned. When you don't believe you're going to heaven, and you don't believe in such a thing as a hell, and you're only version of an afterlife is revoked, you kind of...drift, I guess. There is nothing but this moment, and the moment doesn't feel good. It's a moment for Nietzsche--you know, staring into the abyss and the abyss staring into you?

The normal people out there, the "worldly" people, have no idea what it's like to live in a cult, one that's out there walking around in normal life, not holed up taking poison to get to the mothership. See, when you've got family back in it, you feel like you have to walk on eggshells to preserve that. You may despise the religion, and be getting on just fine without it, but then there's Mom. And you love her, and you want to be able to talk like normal to her. But you have to realize (Sister, this is for you) that you can't make her open her eyes and see what you see. She has to see it for herself. So you cut a lot of ties, and it's hard for you to make new ones.

The thing I was worried about is the ultimate step they take called "apostasy". Now, all they can do is basically declare you an "apostate." They don't brand you with an iron or anything. But that's when your family can't have any contact with you at all. Ever. You're basically, like, a lesser demon or imp or maybe a succubus I guess. Devil's minion walking around in human flesh.

They only apostasize for speaking "against" their religion or trying to actively work against it. Consequently, the people who raise the best points are the ones most likely to get branded "demon". I know just as sure as I'm sitting here typing that they would love to do this to me. They've lobbied against me even coming into town to visit my mother, even though it's clearly within their rules for her. They marked me as an "influence", probably because I have half a brain, and so they watch me when I go from town to town. The congregations in towns I moved to knew about me before I'd even unpacked the last box. I don't think they know my new last name or where I am now. It's just been a big surprise to me that I cared so much that they don't know. At least I never had to wear magic undies.

I'll let ya'll guess what religion it is, and then I'll post what it is. The clues are, they don't believe in going to heaven or hell, they don't believe in the Trinity, they don't celebrate any holidays, and they don't take blood transfusions.

After all, this religion is a crock of shit. I believe the previous statement qualifies me for apostasy.

I was online last night looking up fellow ex-religionists on the web. They have a sort of mini convention for us booted out people each year. They call it Aposto-fest. They even have T-shirts! Sister, would you like to go too? Aposto-fest 2006 is in South Carolina this year!