Moral Court--Where It Pays to Be Right!
If ever there was a get rich scheme for me, I've found it!
Moral Court is the place where people take their grievances and sue based on the ethics of the situation and actually get money for it.
Do you people have any idea how much money I could make from all the fuckers in my life who've been on the wrong end of the moral stick?
I could clog up the courts for years!
Unfortunately, I think the show was cancelled a few years ago. Probably went bankrupt.
posted by contemplator at Wednesday, August 23, 2006
6 Comments:
I guess they shouldn't have gone the network heads and producer in the pilot. :D
Don't sue the hand that feeds you, in case it decides to start writing writs and countersuits.
-----------------------
Oh let's do some Douglas Adams.
Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea...
This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.
-----------------------
and finally, the story of the rich man and the shoemaker.
The Cobbler and the Rich Man
A cobbler worked in his shop from morning until night, and as he worked he sang. Tired people who heard him were rested, and sad men and women were cheered as they came near the shop. Children visited him and watched him at his work and heard him sing. They called him "Jolly Gregory."
"How can he sing when he works so hard and makes so little?" many asked; but still his singing went on.
Across the road from the cobbler lived a rich man. His home was beautiful, his clothes fine, and his fare the best that money could buy; but never in his life had he been known to give to anyone who needed help. He was really poor, for he lacked one thing which he very much wanted--sleep. Sometimes he could not get to sleep until early morning; then his neighbor's song would waken him. He wished that sleep could be bought for money.
One day he said to himself, "I believe I will help that cobbler over the way. He has a hard time to make enough money to buy his food and clothes." So he sent for the cobbler.
"Honest Gregory," he said "how much do you earn in a year?"
"How much a year?" replied the cobbler, scratching his head. "I never reckon my money in that way. It goes as fast as it comes, but I am glad to be able to earn it. I cobble on from day to day and earn a living."
"Well then, Gregory, how much do you earn each day?" asked the rich man.
"Why, sometimes more and sometimes less," answered the cobbler. "On many days--the holidays--I earn nothing. I wish there were fewer of these; but then we manage to live."
"You are a happy man now," said the rich man, "but I will make you happier," and he handed the cobbler five hundred dollars. "Go spend this money carefully. It will supply your needs for many days," he said.
The cobbler had never dreamed of so much money before. He thought it was enough to keep him in food and clothes all his life.
He took the money home and hid it, but he hid his joy with it. He stopped singing and became sad. He could not sleep for fear of robbers. He thought that everyone who came into his shop was trying to find out his secret, or wished a gift. When a cat ran over the floor, he thought a thief had slipped through the door.
At last, poor man, he could bear it no longer. He took the money, hurried to the rich man, and cried, "Oh, give me back my songs and my sweet sleep! Here is your money, every cent of it. I made a poor trade."
The rich man looked at him and said, "I thought I had made you happy. I have not missed your songs, for, strange as it may seem, I have been sleeping soundly ever since I talked with you."
(from Fifty Famous Fables , by Lida Brown McMurry)
-----------------------
You don't play the victim well sugar. It doesn't fit on those strong shoulders of yours. Besides, how can I hope to be your damsel in distress then - oh wait! Pretty Woman: "And then she rescued 'him' right back" ;)
Are you a distressed damsel? I've got some pretty strong shoulders...
Oh be still my quivering thighs....
Ummmmm, this is beginning to sound like something a fundie would say. The kind of people I hear talking about 'morals' are Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell. 'Morals' are relative to the person and what he/she believes to be right and wrong. You would be greatly suprised to find out that there is quite a varying range of what people call moral/immoral, usually based upon what culture that person was brought up in and what kind of parents the person had, not to mention his/her innate biological traits.
"Morals" are not the sole property of fundamentalists. And I am well aware of where morals come from. But I'm surprised that you don't think there is something morally that we all could agree on. I know that some atheists part ways with the definition of morals. But if we didn't have some notion of common morals--or ways to live by, if the term "moral" is too loaded--then why be outraged at anything anybody says or does? After all, it would be all relative, wouldn't it?
"Morals" are not the sole property of fundamentalists. And I am well aware of where morals come from. But I'm surprised that you don't think there is something morally that we all could agree on. I know that some atheists part ways with the definition of morals. But if we didn't have some notion of common morals--or ways to live by, if the term "moral" is too loaded--then why be outraged at anything anybody says or does? After all, it would be all relative, wouldn't it?
Post a Comment
<< Home