For Brunhilde To Get A Kick Out Of (And You, Too!)

In the vein of exposing Jehovah's Witness doctrine, here's some more tidbits for you. I welcome the new people who've been hitting my site specifically for the JW references. *Waves!* You are welcome here. And you're welcome to delurk and discuss anytime. Even the one of you that found me by googling "demons among Jehovah's people." Which I'm not, by the way. I wouldn't mingle with "Jehovah's people" if it were the last social opportunity on Earth.

God Hates Your Psychiatrist:

Often when a Witness of Jehovah goes to a psychiatrist, the psychiatrist will try to persuade him that his troubles are caused by his religion, entirely overlooking the fact that the Christian witnesses of Jehovah are the best-oriented, happiest and most contented group of people on the face of the earth. They have the least need for psychiatrists. Also, more and more psychiatrists are resorting to hypnosis, which is a demonic form of worldly wisdom.

This contradicts direct evidence that shows Jehovah's Witnesses are, in fact, three times more likely to have mental disorders than any other religious group. Maybe your religion really is making you sick. This kind of indoctrination also keeps folks who leave from seeking help when they could use it most.

Some of their other genius medical advice:
Quotes are separated by spaces.

Appendicitis: Take one ounce each of elder blossom, peppermint and yarrow and simmer in three pints of water .. take a wineglassful every fifteen minutes.. Do not be afraid of the perspiration caused, or if you vomit. You will be better off with an empty stomach.

... We have recently learned of a very effective and simple remedy for cancers which show themselves on the surface of the body. We are informed that a physician, after testing this remedy, paid $1000 for the information, and that he has established a Cancer Hospital which is doing good work. The recipe has come to us free and we are willing to communicate the formula, but only to those who are troubled with surface cancers and who will write to us directly, stating particulars. No fee will be charge, but in order to protect the sufferers, we require a promise that they will not sell the formula to others, nor receive pay for the use of it, nor communicate the formula to anybody. Any one known to be a sufferer can be informed of the terms on which the prescription is obtainable through us.

It has never been proven that a single disease is due to germs.

If the organs [of your body] are diseased, heal them by correcting your diet. Avoid the use of aluminum cooking utensils and alum baking powders as they are injurious to your health, poisoning your blood stream... Sleep on the right side or flat on your back, with the head toward the north so as to get benefit of the earth's magnetic currents. Avoid serum inoculations as they pollute the blood stream with their filthy pus.... Stop chewing gum, as you need the saliva for your food.

Just don't listen to their malarky and try these things for yourself. There's always a reversal to follow:

From time to time we do publish articles on such subjects as surgery, chiropractic, osteopathy, zone therapy, etc. Such articles constitute no endorsement of these practices by us. They are offered in Awake! on the same basis that articles on other subjects are offered, namely, as general information and not as a recommendation. God's provision to restore us to perfection is the ransom by Christ Jesus. In the meantime, fanaticism in health matters is unwise, and absorption in health fads is a form of introversion that keeps the mind on oneself, which is conducive to neither physical nor spiritual health. Sweeping claims for cures by this or that system are always suspect. As stated before, each individual differs. (Rom. 14:2, 3) Moderation is usually beneficial.

Following their usual modus operandi, the organization will never come out and say they were wrong. They just print a buyer beware notice, which, in turn, just piles up yet more contradictions within their own body of literature. In other words, they still stand by these words, some of which were written back in the early twenties, just because they can't admit that their religion makes people sick and their idiot advice likely killed people with appendicitis. I imagine that even the most devoted follower still got his ass to the hospital when that hit.

I really want to write the Brooklyn Lawyer Society and see if they'll still give me that formula for cancer. Maybe some of Chaz Russell's magic beans are in there.