Happy Father's Day to the Other Dads

Happy Father's Day to all Dads, of course. But sometimes I think there should be a special day for Stepdads.

El Hijo is a stepdad, and Dante couldn't ask for better. He's there for homework, for hurt feelings and as a role model. Dante loves private time with El Hijo. He claims they get along "way better" than when Dante and I are by ourselves. This is probably true, but only because Dante and I are very much alike, ergo we know just how to push each other's buttons. Being a stepparent can be really frustrating, too, because there are really intricate rules for dealing with your spouse's kid. El Hijo may get really frustrated sometimes with Dante -- but heaven help him if he doesn't respond the right way! It's just a natural instinct that I think most "natural" parents have with the stepparent. We don't hit, but it just feels different and bad to think of El Hijo giving Dante a spanking. Not that he ever would. And for the record, I don't like Dante's "natural" dad to spank either. Especially in the beginning, it's easy to interpret any possible criticism of the child as being WRONG and the stepparent's problem. It ain't easy for steps.

But the "natural" parent isn't the only problem for a poor stepparent. While it's also not always easy being a stepkid either, they can sometimes make life hell on a stepparent. Every step has probably heard "You're not my real Dad/Mom" or some version of "You're not the boss of me" or "My Daddy does X better" or "My Daddy gives me X,Y, Z" or some version of "You suck." This is also a landmine, because if the stepparent responds in the "wrong" way, they risk the double fault of bringing on the wrath of the "natural" parent.

It ain't easy being a stepdaddy. And so I dedicate the following video to anyone who is a "Stepdaddy" by Hitman Sammy Sam.




And for the sarcasm-impaired, yes, he is poking fun at the stereotypical relationship between stepparents and their stepkids. ("You ain't my dad!" "Shuddup!")

Happy Father's Day, El Hijo! :D

-- DV