5 Things

5 things that I'm glad have happened to me in my life (in no particular order):

1) I'm glad I was forcibly "excommunicated". If I hadn't been kicked out, I wouldn't have struggled so quickly to make sense of it all. It may have taken me years to overthrow the cult atmosphere of fundamentalist religion. I like to think it would've come eventually, but I'm glad, glad, glad it came sooner rather than later.

2) I'm glad I homeschooled. I didn't get to do it for long enough, but it taught me more about my child than I've learned in a long, long time. And it provided direction for graduate school.

3) I'm glad I bit the bullet and changed my major to English. Well, I didn't so much change as add a major. I have a BS in Economics and a BA in English. Making the bold move to get an education just because there are things you should *know* was one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

4) I'm glad I didn't get an abortion. I have only the utmost respect for the struggle that women go through who do end up making the decision to abort. I know from first hand experience that it isn't so glibly considered "birth control", as some on the "right" would have us believe. I couldn't have gotten a better boy if I had gotten to choose. I will probably never have another one, and I'm glad I have the one I do.

5) I'm glad I've stood on principle. I remember my first protest, and I was scared to death, but I knew I was doing the right thing. Knowing when to speak up and when to sit in has been the most valuable thing my father ever taught me. It feels incredibly good. But then again, I have a "face the firing squad" mentality. I would be the one that spit on the kommisar when I got my last request. ::sigh:: I blame virtually 500 years of genetics. Sister, you KNOW what I'm talking about! My son is probably one of the few in the world who is related to both Jefferson Davis and Abraham Lincoln. No kidding.

5 things I wish had never happened to me:

This is a bit tougher, because I've learned so much from every disaster that I've gone through. Would I be the same person I am today if I hadn't gone through it? I don't know. I'd like to think I'd be a bit...softer. Maybe. Maybe not.

1) I wish my Dad hadn't died when he did. We were very close, and I was only 17. He died far too soon, and my family went into a tailspin when he left. He was the only one we all liked, LOL. But it forced me to grow up and refine what I knew. But some days, I wish he was here to talk to. I wish he could see Dante.

2) I wish that I had never dated that closet alcoholic. In my defense, there was never any beer in the house or in his truck. I still haven't the slightest idea how he managed it. But it sure made a lot of sense when he confessed it. Are you dead yet, buddy? How about now?

3) I wish that I had the good sense NOT to record my every thought (life, politics, sex and more) when I was 16-17 years old and pass it back and forth to that *daft* boy that turned me in to the thought police. On the one hand, I should thank him for getting me a one way ticket out of a cult. But it was my own private 1984. Happily, I register 76% evil on a stupid internet test, and the punk lives in fear of me to this day. If you saw me, you'd know how freaking funny that is. If you knew me, you'd understand why he left the state. :)

4) I wish I hadn't been raised in a cult. Kinda out of my control, I know, but still. It took some massive brain energy to get over a lot of the thought patterns they put in your brain. How many paintings could I have executed with that energy? The world may never know.

5) I wish that I hadn't been such a young mother. This one is a double edged sword, because I desperately want and love the child I have. I'd also like to not have been 2 weeks off my 20th birthday when I had him. My choice. But young mothers aren't as seasoned in life, and life may have been...easier, if I hadn't been so young.

--Virgil