Wednesday, June 28, 2006

It's a Gal's World

A buddy of mine is in from the Navy, and so we've taken him out to the bars a couple of times. What else would a Navy guy want to do, right, except get sloshed? I've visited many establishments, and most of them suck for lots of reasons. Not a good enough music selection, or live music that should be taken out and shot. Not enough good beer. Service that's slow, shoddy, or whose brains just left the building. No atmosphere whatsoever. That guy who's been there since 2 in the afternoon kicking back doubles of Scotch who thinks he's doing you a favor by coming over to you. You know the one.

But one thing I've noticed more and more since I've been bar-hopping: bars and bar scenes are a woman's world. Men are mostly just SOL. I'm not just talking about Working Women's Wednesdays where your drinks are cheaper or you have no cover (I HATE a cover). Nor the fact that you can pretty much get any guy to buy you booze if you're hard up for it. How women have that edge became painfully obvious to my Navy buddy when our barely legal waitress started hitting on me. Women hit on me about as much as men hit on me. I'm not really sure why. Maybe they want to flirt and it's safer --or more in style??-- to flirt with a woman than it is a man. I don't think most of these younger girls are gay; I don't even think they're bi. That must be really confusing and frustrating for actual lesbians. At some point the personal attention and the flirting become too depressing for my bud, so (after other unimportant details :D) we left, him grumbling the whole way.

The kicker? A group of girls slow down in a car while we're all trying to stagger our way home. You've gotta nice ass! Says the girl in the passenger seat, and her other girl buddies agree.

Navy buddy slows down and yells, Which one of us are you talking to? He has a nice ass, so he'd probably be right to think it was him.

Not you! She says --can you actually hear someone rolling their eyes? :D-- Her!

Sorry, buddy.

11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Guys don't have nice asses. Period. Men are mack trucks and women are sports cars. Since you claim that many young women today are gay, much more than before, could it not be argued that it is a trend, rather than biology?

Wednesday, 28 June, 2006  
Blogger Sandra said...

well, i do like nice guy asses. i also like navy asses. i even married a nice assed marine the first time around. hee hee.
i feel sorry for your bud. you did the best you could though, it wasn't your fault, you must have just been really "on" that night! and lucky you that you have choices!

bar hopping sounds bizarre to me now, it's been so long since i did that. your post made me feel old!

i hope your mom is recovered..

Thursday, 29 June, 2006  
Blogger contemplator said...

Screwy--men have asses. Trust me, women notice their absence. I don't think young women are more gay--I just think they believe it's cooler to act that way. I totally think it's a trend.

Sandra--the Navy Ass is mighty fine indeed! I did feel sorry for him, though. I wasn't doing anything special. I normally do have a big grin, so maybe that disarms them. Hell if I know. I would actually kind of LIKE to know, because it does tend to be 50/50, and I'd like to figure out how heterosexuals give off potentially gay vibes. Just for my own curiosity, of course. :D

Thursday, 29 June, 2006  
Blogger Sandra said...

you must just have charisma! i think that can be attractive to all - on a level very different from sexuality. of course, whatever it is, i suppose once you're drawn to someone, it becomes less important to distinguish where it comes from. a charismatic person can disarm for sure.

Thursday, 29 June, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh course men have asses! Theyr'e just nasty, hairy, horrible and stinky. Men (and squirrels too) just don't clean themselves that much, so think about that for a minute. So you admit homosexuality is a trend?

Thursday, 29 June, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, are you harassing the mistress here? I was recently told that youv'e been up to no good in these parts, so you better jump to another tree, or be turned into puppy chow!

Thursday, 29 June, 2006  
Blogger contemplator said...

screwy--don't be silly. I have several friends who are actual lesbians, and the difference is very obvious. I think some girls think it attracts men if they flirt with women. They just haven't gone past flirting with me, yet. :D

And by the way, there are quite a few men whose asses are quite clean. You should ask around.

sandra--I do have charisma. Is it vain to say so? I've certainly been labeled "influential" from a young age. I guess that's what it means. :D

Thursday, 29 June, 2006  
Blogger contemplator said...

::rewards mad dog with a giant plate of milk bones::

Atta boy!!

Thursday, 29 June, 2006  
Blogger Sandra said...

not vain at all! you should know your strengths.
:)

Saturday, 01 July, 2006  
Blogger Michelle L. said...

Oh how I miss the bars-the fun ones! Thanks for the memories!!

Saturday, 01 July, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well screwy... I remember a survey several years back where women were asked what body part turned them on the most. (Yes screwy women get turned on, and turned on visually) The winner was the ass.

Hell if you really want to get Freudian, (and it wasn't him that suggested it) but big tits and big asses suggest a fertile partner and times of plenty and good breeding conditions. It's the end product of millions of years of human evolution. The sexes aren't as distinct as you think.

Not to mention a muscular ass nowadays implies health fitness and plenty of go in the sack.

Saturday, 22 July, 2006  

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