Notes From The Bizarre
A very weird thing happened to me after school one day last week. I was walking back to my car in the parking garage, and when I got there...it was covered with candy. Someone had artfully arranged candy all over my spoiler, hood and top of my car. At first I thought they were trying to send me a message, as the candy appeared to be dum-dum suckers. But then I noticed that Starbursts were also interspersed with the suckers--a conundrum! They were spaced evenly about every 6 inches or so. Suckers were sticking out of my side mirrors.
Because no good deed goes unpunished, I immediately worried that someone had done something to my car and was luring me into a false sense of security with the display of candy--like pouring sugar down my gas tank, or flattening my tires. Nothing seems to be wrong with the car, though.
I ran through the list of suspects. Possibly it was a mistake, and someone was trying to surprise their sorority sister who drives the same kind of car. Was someone trying to send me a message? Am I a sucker? Am I a dum dum? No one hates me enough to try something that dumb on me yet--I don't think. I haven't even pissed students off enough for that to happen--and they have no idea what I drive anyway. Then, a report came in that JP was seen leaving the parking garage a few minutes prior to my discovery of the candy, so of course, I figured Batmite! did it. JP claims this is not the case.
If you know anything about the details of this mysterious incident, please report it. No seriously, the curiosity is killing me.
-- Virgil
P.S. And, NO, I did not eat any of the candy. Who the hell knows where it's been??
posted by contemplator at Saturday, November 03, 2007
4 Comments:
If I had a giant bucket of candy I would talk to you and share it with you over a giant pile of beers that we would drink together while eating candy and commiserating about stuff and things.
Oh that someone would have arranged beer bottles all over my car instead!! What a glorious idea!
Beer and candy. Where's the stripper factory? /fsm reference
I like that you see me but assume Batmite to be the suspect. Either our association has become disturbingly predictable, or I seem to be completely incapable of such confectional mischief.
JP: my impression is that you would egg somebody on, but that you wouldn't have done it yourself.
Batmite!, on the other hand, would take one look at a handful of suckers and say, "let me build a giant candy trap!"
It's why you're such good roommates.
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