Well, Shucky-Darn Diddly-Do, Middle America

I really should be grading portfolios, but I just can't bring myself to yet. Instead, I simply have to go on a tear about the Vice Presidential debates last night. I left a networking dinner to get home in time to watch them, and in between helping Dante with homework (which is an event in our home on par with terrorism), I watched the debates.

Holy sidewinding diddly-darn shit.

I almost don't know where to begin. But I'd like to start by saying that Sarah Palin is an embarrassment to me as a woman. There are plenty of Republican women McCain could have picked who would've had far more grace and eloquence than the Alaskan Husky that is Sarah Palin. She is a mockery of everything that so many women worked so hard for her to take advantage of. I've seen several interviews with Palin, and it doesn't seem like she knows much of anything. Most of us might not know what the Bush Doctrine is, for example, but by her god, she ought to know if she's running for the White House!

Here's a link to some of the collected "Palinisms" that have already happened, along with the video clips to prove it. Dear baby Jesus. One of my favorites was her response on why she had good foreign policy credentials: "As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It’s Alaska. It's just right over the border." But I think what bothers me most is her ridiculous delivery of her speeches. I get that she's supposed to be "folksy". Nobody knows "folksy" better than a girl from Kentucky. And that's part of the problem.

If you're going to appeal to the "Joe Six-Packs" of the world, you have to realize that Joe 6P comes in many shapes and sizes. Just dropping your endings and saying things like "betcha and dontcha" isn't going to cut it. After all, even the Pussycat Dolls can say "Dontcha wish ya girlfriend was hot like me?" It doesn't mean they're appealing to the heartland, although Joe 6P is probably watching for other reasons. Does she know, for instance, what a "holler" is? Because that's what the "folks" back home understand. They called one of the Harry Potter books, "Harry Potter & the Deathly Hollers." Maybe the real test is whether she knows what "hominy" is. Ha.

But seriously, I don't want a "folksy" person in the White House. I want somebody who I think is smarter than me, more connected than I am, and more personable than I am (that last bit qualifies most people), because s/he has to use those skills to make very critical decisions. I don't want somebody who will say, "Now, now, doggone it, Putin, dontcha know ya can't just go around messing with other people, you big, bad bully. Now you go have yerself a time out, okay? Here's a cookie." (Sort of like putting Lisa in the White House, eh JP & B!--although I think Lisa would do a much better job.) Which is what the woman sounds like to me. Additionally, we already put a Joe 6P in the White House. It was little better than a trained monkey, and fortunately his time is going to end in a few short months. I don't want to replace him with Ancient McGrump and Barbeque Barbie.

The debates themselves were somewhat interesting. Probably the most shocking part to me came when Palin praised Cheney's interpretation of the VP's powers, which expands them beyond what the Constitution allows. My jaw dropped when she said that. I was pleased when Biden almost condescendingly put her in her place by telling everyone what the job really entailed and by then going on to say that Dick Cheney was the most dangerous VP in history. A thought I agree with. I like watching the debates in general, because as a comp teacher, I love hearing the rhetoric that comes out. When Biden repeatedly linked John McCain to the current administration by saying "George Bush" three or four times in a row, that solidifies things like that in people's minds. Palin did nothing to counter it. As cheesy as it might have been, I also was touched at the part where Biden choked up a little about his kids and their accident. I think that was actually a genuine reaction. It was also a little callous of Palin to not acknowledge that moment, but to instead go into her Maverick Mantra again. But it was a good point to make--Palin, just by virtue of being a woman, does not get to claim the "family" values crown all to herself.

My radio right now is telling me that the "concensus" is that Biden won on points, while Palin won on style. Style? Seriously? "Doggone, it Joe, there ya go again," does not count as style. Disappointingly, the media is reporting Palin's performance in terms that make it sound like she actually did something well. But what that really means is that she didn't completely come out on stage and poop herself, like everyone thought she would. The bar should not be "acted like a normal person". That should be a given. The bar should be "acted like the second in command of the most powerful nation on earth." She just looked to me as though her cookies were burning.

On the other hand, maybe we can all crib some of her debating tactics to help us during our next big presentation. Here is a handy flow chart for you to use:




See ya later, ya bunch of good ol' middle Americans!-- DV