Virgil Opens A Second Front

Jesus H. Christ. (You'll see why that's a pun in a minute.)

It never rains, but it pours.

As if it weren't bad enough that I'm gearing up to bring back Dante, there is a new maelstrom brewing. As some of you may know, Sister has had previous troubles in her attempts to be free of the clutches of the Jehovah's Witness cult (see Fundies Gone Wild). Because they are run by lawyers and judges, they keep extensive reports on people, things like your service records (how much time you spend in the business of bothering people with your religious tracts) and especially if you've ever had any problems that caused you to be hauled up in front of the elders. It's all kept in a file with your name on it, usually in the house of the presiding overseer, and if I'm not mistaken, a copy is sent to the Brooklyn main headquarters for reference. When my 18 year old ex-boyfriend turned rat on me (best thing that ever happened to me), he turned in every piece of paper I'd ever given him. That's been in a file for coming up on 11 years now. I have no idea where it is. I'll find out when I get the time. In the meantime, there's more important work at hand.

Because Sister left the church abruptly, there are a few things that need ironed out in her file. In essense, she's "inactive", but that drives the congregation she left batty, because there were other judicial procedings that issued from her departure. See, Sister divorced her no-good Neanderthal husband. Good riddance. But, in JW mythology, you can only divorce for reasons of adultery, and you can only remarry if the other person has committed adultery. Her Ex-Puke remarried really quickly after they divorced. Because he couldn't prove proper grounds, they disfellowshipped him (means the same as excommunication). He's claiming he had grounds, and they want to interrogate Sister to determine whether he does or not. They probably also want to kick her out for divorcing without proof of adultery.

For the past year, they've called her nonstop, staked out her house, and generally made her life more miserable than it needs to be. She's in therapy. They've caused her to need extra sessions. They've put undue pressure on her. For those outside of the cult, you're probably thinking, "What's so hard about just telling them to shove it??" The answer is, you're ingrained with a fear that runs so deep it takes years to work out. What they "do" to you is nothing, really. But it's psychologically devastating if you're not ready for it (and sometimes even when you think you are). She's done with the JWs. But she still doesn't have the courage to face the fact that they're probably going to disfellowship her by hook or crook.

Their books need closing.

When I went down for Derby, (run, horsie, horsie!!) we stayed with Sister. Her cell phone rang while we were out Friday night. She grimaced when she looked at it, and told me that it was one of the elders again. I looked at her recent call screen. There were over 17 calls within the span of a few days. Why it suddenly hit me like it did I don't know, but I asked her, "Do you want me to call and put a stop to it?"

"Can you??" She asked. It's funny how we who were formerly on the inside don't really think we can. At least not at first.

I hit the redial key and a man answered. "Hi. My name is Virgil. This number appears on my sister's caller I.D. numerous times. Are you Nosy Elder? You are? Well, Sister asks me to tell you to please stop calling her. She's in therapy. She'll contact you when she's ready to talk. The number is on here over 17 times."

"Uh..er...uh...OK. Sure." End of phone conversation.

But not the end of the story.

Sister calls me last week to tell me that a subsidiary branch in the town she ran away from of The Man's Company she works for has called her to tell her that two dudes in suits (read, JW elders) came in and said they had a package for her, but gosh darnit, they lost her address. Could that branch please look it up and give it to them? And the subsidiary branch said, Go to hell, that's private stuff, weirdos. And immediately called Sister to report. She freaked out.

I just got pissed. And because I'm in a sour enough mood about the humanites, life and the universe right now anyway, I decided that plenty of people would know about it, and that this insanity would stop. It also afforded me a way to mess with my psychotic mother.

I called Mom and relayed the facts to her. I thought she wouldn't believe it, that she'd say Sister had misunderstood or was exaggerating, as she often claims. Turns out, she believes it--because the same elders had come to Mom after they were rejected from the subsidiary branch and asked her for Sister's address! She had the good sense to tell them no, even though she had given them Sister's cell phone number a year ago. I did my best to keep my voice level, but the bottom line is that we had it out over her stupid cult. I told her very simply (as most things need to be told to her these days) that what they were doing was destructive to Sister's therapy, and that it had to stop. She said, "They just want to talk to her, Virgil, to help her. They just want to be fair."

Whoa. Fair? Sounds like a trial to me. I pointed that out. And I also said that whether Mom comprehended it or not, being on "trial" was quite distressing and taxing, something Sister absolutely does not need right now. She kept complaining that I wasn't seeing her side. So I broke it down: "I don't care what they want. It freaks her out. It costs her more therapy. It needs to stop. And here's what you need to do about it. You need to go and talk to them, and explain to them that we have cell phone records, that I asked once, and that they still pursued. That's considered stalking. It meets the requirements for a restraining order. So, either you tell them to back off, or I'll send a certified letter to every elder in that congregation explaining that if they don't back off, we're filing papers against them. Restraining orders are published in the paper. They won't want that. But they stop, and they stop now."

"OKOKOKOKOKOKOK." Was pretty much the response. She was shocked to hear I'd called an elder and told him to fuck off, although, strangely not shocked to hear that her daughter had 17 stalking phone calls & messages from same idiot elder. I think she doesn't think I'm serious, because it's inconceivable to her that I'd send a letter or file a restraining order. Against them? God's servant here on Earth??

Hell, yes I would.

Of course, this opens me up personally to the last attack they can foment on a former member: apostasy (a wiki for the broad definition--looks like me and Nietsche have something in common) To insiders, apostates are literally of the devil--possessed by his will. They're declared apostates because they are considered to be actively working against and defaming God's organization on Earth, i.e. the JWs. If you haven't noticed, I've been doing that for some time now. Just talking about it negatively qualifies. Starting the meet-up for ex-JWs is a big ol' giant piece of evidence in itself. Sending a certified letter certainly meets the criteria. Apostates (according to the mythology) will be immediately destroyed at Armageddon, no second chances. If I believed in that hogwash, I'd still die willingly rather than kiss the ass of their Jehovah for an eternity. Apostates are the walking dead.

So what happens outside of the mythology? Pretty much nothing. It's like waving your fingers mysteriously at someone and chanting: You're an imp! You're an imp! Oh, except your family can't talk to you anymore. You see, when someone is merely disfellowshipped, all the other JW's act like they don't exist. They walk around you, talk around you, pretend they don't see you--it can be quite fun to mess with them in a grocery store. But your family, at least, can still talk to you (although some family members choose not to). That's a big innovation since the 80s, because so many family members complained--the Society had to relent. But when you're an apostate, talking with me would be like actively choosing Satan. (I sort of think some of my colleagues and bosses look at me that way now!)

Where the personal problem for me could come in would be with my mother. How, then, would she treat Dante? Would she try to write me out of her will, which contains around 100 acres of family land (on my father's side, no less) that has been in the family for over 100 years? She'd probably donate it to the church. And then, out of spite, I'd burn it to the ground.

Who knows. Whatever the ramifications are, they'll go down between me and my mother. Not the first time. This time around, I'd have to care to be scared. My sister is more important to me than my mother. Sister has a life ahead of her. Mom has buried her's in the grave with my father 12 years ago. Mom has betrayed and abandoned both me and Sister.

So fuck it. The war is on. People who become free of this cult shouldn't be a mental slave to the fear of it for the rest of their lives. And its leaders shouldn't get away with criminal behavior under the banner of religion.

Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!

-- Virgil

Post Note: I fully expect Danny Hazzard, that ever vigilant apostate JW, to hit this post with his usual reply. ;) Ex-JW's on the internet know what I'm talking about!