It Has Begun

The first ever Ex-JW Meetup was...a mixed bag at best.

I didn't do much local advertising before the event, because I was just wa-ay too busy. But the paper came through and published my little notice the day before the event. If I had done a two week run, which I will next time because I didn't know it was free, I suspect I would've gotten more response.

Nobody showed up at the actual meeting, but it was OK because I had a great mocha latte while I was waiting. That isn't to say there wasn't any contact at all, however. I got a call that morning from a man who was studying with the JWs along with his wife. He had some doctrinal issues and wanted to talk about them. He was also convinced I was starting a seperate splinter church from the JWs. Um,...no. This is pretty much dinner and conversation, honey. So we talked for a little while, and I'm pretty sure it was the tipping point he needed to stop fooling with the JWs. Hah! Score one for meetup, 0 for JWs. Another person called me, a former JW who wanted to come but couldn't because of going out of town. That makes 4 confirmed members counting me (the others live too far away to want to make the drive, so they're internet members, I guess). So score another point for not being ashamed to talk to each other.

There were several issues that came up quickly, and I'm still grappling with how to deal with them. Everyone wants to know what my new religion/beliefs are. I'm not embarassed of being an atheist, but I'm smart enough to know that whatever you say is going to color the way other people look at your intentions with the group. So I told the confused man that I was independent of religion, that I had a good sense of what was right and wrong, and that I did my best to help my fellow man and that's really all that mattered. He was pretty excited, and said, "I guess I'm going to be just like you, then." That freaked me out a little bit. The only reason it freaks me out is because when I got booted from the JWs, they said it was because I was "too much of an influence" among other things. So that lives in the corners of my brain and comes flying out at me at times. But I've tucked it back away.

I'm also still unsure about how to handle questions from doubters. I do NOT want to make that my job. For one thing, I don't have the time to sit down and de-evangelize them. But a small part of my mind whispers, if not you, then who? I've gotten several comments about how former JWs would love to start a meetup group of their own, but they're too scared, or too something, but they would sure go if someone else did it. I started this group to give people a chance to share similar experiences, to build strength from each other, and as a way of protest against the unfair treatment that JWs put on their own members. Sometimes protest doesn't have to be a direct confrontation (although I'm sure the JWs will make it so). One of its functions is as a truth-weapon; if you still experience fear, this can help to bring that out of the shadows and give you strength.

Plus, I just want dinner and conversation. :)

But mainly, I just want to help. Call it my activist nature, I guess. I'm sure there will be trouble. There is always trouble when a subgroup goes up against a dominant group, and JWs love having witches to burn. Besides, even though they're a tiny organization, the number of disfellowshipped people is even smaller. I don't expect to get even 15 df'ed people in this group. I do expect to have a rag tag band of people who grew up with a parent who was a Witness, married a Witness, etc. But there are so few of us, and we keep silent too often.

And I'm really not good at not talking. :D

--Virgil