Something Cool

I got this blogthing from Jo's blog. It's neat. A lot of my choices were not what most people chose. Sigh. What else is new? It was kind of neat to associate pictures with terms. Definitely a cool blogthing. I actually though "sophisticat" was a word only I used.

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Meet Fanny Fern

This is the cat I ended up with after drinking with Sister Mary from Our Lady of Perpetual Litigation. Ain't she cute? Her name is Fanny Fern. She is a very high maintenance cat in that she meowls for attention very loudly and very often. She also blatantly ignores the pricey scratching post I bought her in favor of the wicker chairs in the library.

Here she is curled up in one of said wicker chairs, which she took over as her personal napping station.

And sprawled out on my bed. Ain't her little paws cute? She has a fascination for zip drives (called magic sticks in this household). Current favorite entertainment with kitty includes filling an old sock with catnip--also known as her "crack rag"--and watching the fun.

I'm probably going to enter the top picture of Fanny on Kitten War!, so log on to see all the cute kitties, and vote for Fanny if she comes up!

-- Virgil

200th post--W00t!

Yay, post 200! Whatever.

It's time for a celebration of some sort. Spring Break is officially next week. I'm not going anywhere (too much work to do), except to Kentucky for a couple of days to pick up Dante. His Spring Break starts the week after mine ends. He's coming to class with me while I teach. Both he and the students are all jacked up about it. I expect them to get into a disruption contest with each other. I expect Dante to win--he's the pro.

Over Spring Break I'm finishing up two presentation scripts: one for school on service learning, the other to the United Way to keep my damn job going. I'm understandably more concerned about one than the other. I've got a bunch of student essays to grade. I've also got two conference length papers to get a move on. I've actually got about half of both written, which is a first for me. But the hard part is pulling all the research and incorporating that into the idea. It needs to be done now, though, because when Dante gets here, the only research that will be done will likely be on wrestling, video games, and the new cat.

I wish I was going to parts unknown to get parts of my body tanned that don't normally see the sunlight. But at least my Director/Buddy and I have made a plan to go somewhere sunny and island-y for a week at Christmas time. Even though I'm working and researching over Spring Break, it still feels like I ought to do something that's not geared toward school.

So I think I'm speed reading some pulp. (What else would an English academic do in her spare time?) I have a secret addiction to James Bond novels--the Ian Fleming ones, not the later ones. I have Moonraker right now, and I could absolutely inhale it in one night. The novels are, for the most part, different from the movies. Plus, you get a lot of background info about James Bond that makes the movies make more sense. I've also checked out a book I picked up at the library while waiting (in vain) for a tutor to show up. God, I hate when they waste my time. I can't even remember what it's called, but it's about some chick who writes for a (poor) living, and I think she gets bitten by vampires and becomes some sort of socialite vampire thingy? Don't look at me like that! It was absorbing, OK?

So, to sum up, my big Spring Break plans are to mediate, write & research, and read bad fiction.

-- Virgil

Hmm, How Much Do I Like Them?

Fun stuff going on at the classroom blog. Spring Break is coming up next week, and they are all itching to get a day off early or a day off after so that they can milk their break for all it's worth. So, to force them to argue and participate a bit, I made them blog on it. This is the most blog participation any post has gotten so far! Check it out.

I've already made my decision. But I'm going to let them keep sweating it out!

-- Virgil

Miscellaneous Observations About My Day

My Saint Patty's Day was weird. I ran in several different circles all day long doing various things that didn't have much to do with each other. Here are my random observations.

• I don't like baby showers. I didn't even like the one that was thrown for me. They just creep me out.
• They seem to be filled with women of a different socio-economic status than me. Consequently, my stories and hijinks seem uproarious to them. Their stories bore the crap out of me.
• Most baby shower games suck. But the door prizes are good.
• Most people don't buy the right "kind" of presents. Moms-to-be do not need that ultra expensive tube of baby butt creme. They need diapers. Lots and lots of diapers. And reality says they need outfits they can throw in the wash at a moment's notice, not fancypants stuff the kid will wear once in 2 months and then go to the Goodwill.
  

Then, I went to a wild game dinner hosted by some student group in the Agriculture dept. Some observations:

• College kids can't cook. The stuff was mostly overseasoned or cooked too long. Or maybe wild game just tastes dry naturally. Blech, for the most part.
• Most of the stuff wasn't really that exotic. I had deer, squirrel, trout, salmon, goose, "waterfowl", and bison before, and done better, frankly. New stuff I had included rabbit, elk and grouse.
• The rabbit was good!
• There was no bear. I really wanted to try some bear.
  
• Fish & gaming people all look weirdly alike in some ways.
  
• I ran into a student whom I had failed; his father is a bigwig in the Ag Dept. That was awkward for him and funny for me.
  
• The smoked trout was awesome. I probably ate part of a bag of it.
  
• We had to sit through a 45 minute lecture on fish species native to West Virginia.
  
• Things I learned from the lecture include the fact that the New River is thought to be the oldest river in the world. My suggestion they change the name to the Oldest River didn't meet with much approval.
• Another thing I learned from the lecture is that some idiot group of people decided to name a fish the "chubsucker." Me and director/buddy laughed our asses off at that one. We were quite disruptive.
  

My Saint Patty's Day drinking episode was a big bust. It only took hopping to two bars to decide I was on to the next thing. Reasons why:

• I don't go to bars where my students go. Too many weird things that can happen. Consequently, I try to go to bars where the real locals go to.
  
• Tried out the new bar close to the volunteer fire hall where the wild game dinner was held. Boy was that a mistake. When you can hear the ear-bleeding country music karaoke all the way outside, you should probably get back in your truck and speed away.
• But if you do decide to stay, your second warning should be when they bring your beer in a can. Drinking beer out of a can is something you can do at home. Which is probably where you should be.
• Why in the hell are bars like that either filled with drunk young pups who seem rather violent when drunk and who you fear you may have to do the driving for or with old, weathered farts who are so drunk they can only gesticulate wildly?
  
• It does nothing for my ego to be hit upon by said old fart gesticulating wildly. If anything, it acts on my ego in a negative manner. I'm apparently an old fart magnet. I've even been hit on by old farts when I've walked into a bar with two young men, one of which had his arm around me and the other strutting around like a young buck looking to scratch his antlers on something. That still doesn't slow them down. What am I doing wrong?!
• Why are said old farts always named something stupid, like "Tennessee" or "Jefferson"? I'd like them to fade away like a bad smell, but with names like that, who can forget??
• Run away when said old fart named Tennessee gets up to sing you a karaoke song of the ear-bleeding persuasion. It works, and it's your chance to escape.

Next bar observations:

• Bitches, it's Saint Patty's Day. You don't save seats in a fucking bar on Saint Patty's Day when it's packed cheek-to-jowl. Additionally, this is something of a redneck bar. If you think you can save them, please, by all means, try. *grin*
• Weird, weird "rock" band called Evil B was getting back together. Having had a beer at this particular bar before we headed off to the wild game dinner thing, I heard "Hellraiser" one too many times. Plus, from sitting on the upper deck, I could see the guy's bald spot, which really wasn't doing anything for his image.
  
• On the other hand, some chick in the crowd was wearing an Evil B tee-shirt. They have shirts??
• Apparently this particular bar is a hangout spot for the Harley-Davidson crowd. There are apparently rules for where you can and cannot sit that everyone knew but me.
• The reason I was oblivious, is because Director/Buddy is a part of the secret Harley clique, so I just always sat where she did, and they accepted it by proxy.
• Unfortunately, I think they think that must mean I ride bitch on her bike. Which leads to a host of other worries.
• It also explains why the Harley men don't hit on me.
• It also means that if there's a Harley fight, I think I'm expected to stand up as a show of numbers.
• The night just got weirder after that, so we left and parted ways.
  

After that, being decently buzzed and everything else having been a bust, I went for broke and went to see the movie 300. So far, The Iranians are pissed off about it, because they think it portrays Persians as evil, without culture, wanting to rule the planet, blah, blah. I'm pissed off about it because I want my ticket money back. That was the stupidest movie I've seen in a long time. I fully realize it's based on a graphic novel and is supposed to be campy. It just plain sucks. It's supposed to have unique filming characteristics. It's a dumb movie. There's no real build up to the plot. There' s no reason to like the characters. I read about the Spartans vs. the Persians in translation. It was very exciting. This movie was not. From the first five minutes, it feels like a clumsy propaganda piece about how freedom equals fighting, and about how the Spartans are all about "reason" and the Persians about "mysticism". Other things I noticed:

• Spartans, being so full of reason, subject their kids to complete emersion in violence from the time they are 7 years old. Their job is war. You're supposed to be impressed by that.
• Spartans are the only real "humans" there are. Everyone else looks like a colorful cartoon character.
  
• "Philosophers", "potters," and "sculptors" of the Acadian (read, Odysseus' Greece) persuasion are actually little better than brawlers and are mainly too cowardly to stand and fight for a "glorious death." And yet, most of our culture comes from them; our bad attitude might come from the Spartans, but, whatever.
• Oracles are actually teenage girls so high on something that they swim through the air. That was kind of a neat scene. One of the few.
• Congress is a chicken-livered body that only wants to reap the rewards of the bravery of others, if it all works out. Sound familiar?
  
• Leonides routes the Congress by not declaring war, rather he declares he's only going for some sort of investigative walk. This is supposed to be a good thing. Congress is supposed to be the "bad guys" for wanting to hold him to the fact that he broke the law. Sound familiar?
• These people of "reason" walk around with a codpiece and a long red cape. That's it.
• Spartan men are totally hot and buff. Every other man is flabby. Men, you can only look this way if you submerse yourself in total preparation for war. Constantly. But you'll look hot.
• Xerxes is a bizarre transsexual looking hispanic being, who towers head and shoulders over other men and conquers the world one nation at a time only because he wants to get head from the leaders of those nations. At least that's the implication.
  
• Persians are much, much browner than I think history will verify. Much, much browner.
• The Persians had in their keep various and sundry monsters, who look like the last refugees of beasts from Middle Earth, and whose sole aim is to kill, kill, kill.
  
• Xerxes' executioner looks like Jaba the Hut with boney blades for arms.
  
• When brown people can't at first overcome the Spartans, the Persians send in their crack fighting force, who happen to be yellow people. Followed by the Mongolians.
  
• We fight for freedom, justice (and you want to add the American Way, because it just wants to roll off the tongue so easily). We say this over and over and over in the movie.
• When Leonides runs off with his elite force of Spartans, against the law, his wife gives a short speech about truth, justice, and the fact that we can't let their lost lives be in vain. Sound familiar?
• The parting words of Leonides to his people and to us moviegoers are, "Remember us." What for? Oh, for that whole keep on fighting and fighting for truth and justice and blood and fighting theme we've been working on for the whole movie.
  

The only fun part was acting out the Spartan vs. Persian individual fight scenes later on. The Spartans were very pragmatic and methodical with their spears and shields, and the Persians simply flailed about like wild and crazy men with no training. It was very easy to replicate at home.

-- Virgil

Wahhh!!!!! I'm Stuck!

I'm stuck in the mud at the trailer right now. I stupidly tried to go around the intern's truck and got stuck in a soft spot in the grass, tantilizingly close to the pavement. A car was coming, and I had to stop so it could figure out what it was doing. As soon as I stopped, I sank. The intern and I put sawdust all around the tires. I got boards and put them down. All to no avail. I'm currently waiting on Director/Buddy to come with her truck and a rope. Grr!

On top of that, it's now snowing instead of raining. And I'm covered in muddy goop.

This. Sucks.

-- Virgil

Great New (To Me) Blog

My Navy buddy tipped me toward this blog, called Baghdad Burning. Riverbend runs the blog, and she is an Iraqi. The blog is essentially about life in Iraq since the war started. It's wonderfully well written. It's gripping. It goes back to August 2003. It's worth starting at the beginning. She puts a human perspective to what most of us are grappling with getting our heads around.

I'm worried about her, because she hasn't posted since February 20th.

-- Virgil

I Need A Vacation!!

bitchy-whine-complain-pooh-pooh-bungle-bear. ::pout::

I'm cross. I'm tired. I'm overworked. I'm managing beautifully, and it never fails to amaze me what people can accomplish under pressure. By people, of course, I mean me. My work is always done, and it's never late. But I am soooo tired. I didn't get a break at Christmas. I was too busy dealing with the ins and outs of my sister's breakdown, catching up on hundreds of pages of literacy crap that I'd gotten so very behind on, and completely revamping my syllabus. I think I took off for Christmas dinner and for Christmas day. Otherwise, it was work, work, work. I get my Spring Break the last week of March. But, I'll be finishing a major essay then, and it isn't as if I can stop working my nonprofit job.

Sometimes, there is just too much to carry.

What's really bugging me is the fact that I have to take summer classes. Summer classes really piss me off for two reasons. For one thing, they're only about 6 weeks long. So I always feel like we rush over things. I feel cheated of my time. Second, full semesters are really wearing on a person. Things are due so often both for my own classes and from the students I teach that there really isn't time to do extra work on, for instance, your syllabus. And a teacher who really cares will go back over things at the end of each semester, see what worked and what didn't, and make adjustments. My syllabus now is 100% better than it was last semester, and I can already see where I want to rearrange things for next year. I need that time over the summer to actually get to do that.

Complicating things further, I may be reassigned out of 101 to teach 102, which is more argument and rhetorically based. Which means coming up with all new stuff! From scratch! New readings, new assignments, new everything. It takes a lot of work to design a course from scratch, but that's what they expect you to do when they boot you into 102. If I'm taking classes, especially compressed ones, I will barely have time to turn around. Then, there's the small matter of fact that the summer classes end only three or four days before fall classes begin. No decompression time.

ARGGHH!!

My lovely mentor has also managed to screw me over for summer on top of the complications I'm already facing. (More on that in another post. I really need to get that rant out of my system.)

So. I need a break. A real break, not a pretend break where I don't have to do all the things I do in a day but still have to do some of them. My Director/Buddy calls them "running away days." I've got two choices. And I'm going to figure out how to take both of them. I can leave sometime between May 1 and May 17, before our golf tourney fundraiser and the start of summer classes. I can't be gone that whole time, but I can potentially take a week. And I can go the week of Christmas. Dante leaves for Florida for Christmas, and he's gone for a week anyway. I might as well go somewhere else during that time; it's depressing to be in Kentucky when he's not there.

I don't think I'll get out of the country this year. My secret wish is to go to Ireland next summer, which is one reason to take that extra class this summer. It frees me up of my obligations (except for reading a few books) to school so that I might actually get a summer off. But I know one thing. I want to go somewhere warm. Somewhere fun. Someplace that doesn't look like Appalachia. I heart Appalachia. But I have to live here. I want to see something different, for a change.

I am open to suggestions. But I think for Christmas, I'm going to Puerto Rico (and yes, I know that's technically "out of the country", but not really. You know what I mean!).

Different. Warm. Not West Virginia. I've no idea where to go for May. I'm thinking maybe Maine.

Heck if I know. What're your favorite places in the U.S.?

-- Virgil (tired-pooh-pooh-bungle-bear)

It Speaks The Truth!

You Are a Centaur

In general, you are a very cautious and reserved person. However, you are also warm hearted, and you enjoy helping others in practical ways. You are a great teacher, and you are really good at helping people get their lives in order. You are very intuitive, and you go with your gut. You make good decisions easily.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

Weirdly, I always thought centaurs were cool and sexy critters when I was a young girl.

-- Virgil

A Long, Unburdening (At Least For Me) Post

I've learned several things from running a blog for about a year now. I've learned that you can meet people who aren't psychos and with whom you might have a lot in common. I found out that people are looking for answers to the same issues that I face, and they need outlets to talk about it and to browse secretly without having to reveal themselves. I've discovered that you can put incredibly personal issues on the net, and by virtue of never really having to look at someone in the face, you get support and honest responses that are oftentimes just as helpful as coming from those in-the-flesh people I trust and know. You also get to rant and bitch and unleash your own little piece of hell, which is better than letting it simmer inside.

I would like to share something personal over the net, because I think that talking and writing about things is how I express and work out my own problems. But also because I need the outlet, the support, and by extension, maybe someone else can benefit, too.

We made a really difficult decision recently. Sister is moving in with us. No one who knows her reads this blog, so I think it's safe to talk about it. But if it freaks her out, this post will likely come down. Sister has been extremely depressed recently. Since November of last year, actually. She suffers from massive depressive disorder and possibly a couple of other things, and has for a long time, but for some unexplainable reason, she had a big relapse in November. She even had to go on short term disability from work for a while and spend some serious therapy time in the local treatment center. Although she is somewhat recovered from that period of time, she still harbors really dark thoughts. And she's just plain, old unhappy. She carries a lot of debt from her ex-husband, and while she has a job, she's finding it really hard to make ends meet. She's 27.

So, I thought that it would be a good idea to ask her to come up here. She wouldn't have the burden of rent and utilities, and what money she made could, for once, go to paying down debt. On top of that, she could go to the university here, when she was ready. Going to school has always been a dream for her. She never went after high school. It's an opportunity. A crossroads, in a lot of ways. But not just for her, for us as well.

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet,
And whither then? I cannot say.

- J.R.R.Tolkien

It's a hard thing to take someone into your home when you aren't related to them, and my husband very courageously took a big gulp of air and said, "OK." If I were in his place, and it was his sister, I'd have my concerns as well. I love his sisters. But I don't really know them like he does. So I can appreciate his position. But he did it anyway. And any real misgivings or worries he may have, he's keeping to himself and being a supporter of this decision. I'm incredibly thankful.

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

- Emily Dickinson

What's really messed up to me, when I sit and think about it, is how isolated we often are in Western culture. We expect our people to go out and live as independent a life as is inhumanly possible. In other cultures, for instance, when a new mother gives birth, all the local women rally around the new mom. She rarely has any responsibilities other than to feed the baby. The other women clean it, clean the house, cook, care for the new mother, and offer advice, usually for six weeks or more. Postpartum depression is nearly unheard of in some cultures. Over here, what do we do? We step back to give the new family "some space." Especially so they can get "some rest." But how do we expect them to get rest with a new baby? We leave them on their own to flounder around, and we expect them to know exactly what to do and never be frustrated. Try it sometime. That ain't how it works.

Giving people "some space" is the first thing we think about doing when almost anything emotionally difficult happens. We stand aside to "let them work it out." What most people need is more not less community. There is such a stigma attached to moving someone in with you, as though the person should be an invalid, or there is something wrong. Or that you are somehow a failure if you have to move in with someone. If we got rid of crappy attitudes like that, I wonder how much closer we would all feel.

Don't get me wrong, I'm scared to death, too. But I miss Sister. I think I need her as much as she needs me. Who's to say a blended household cannot work? To grow and be successful myself, to the point where I am now, I feel empowered that I can hold out my hand to my sister, and watch her step into her potential, as well. Why can't we all find some way to make a life together? To relieve suffering for a little while? What could be greater than that?

-- Virgil

Strategic Planning, Biotches!!

Just spent an unrecoverable day and a half of my life in strategic planning with our nonprofit board, facilitated, as it turns out, by a group that's the beneficiary of Bush's faith based initiative program. We're grateful for the $2300 in free inkind training. Still not sure how I feel about Bush's faith based initiatives. Needless to say, my brain is dribbling out of my ears right about now. But I helped craft our vision (almost singlehandedly) because of my supposedly wonderful English-composition-person perspective, and I think a lot of progress was made in other places as well.

But I'm still amazed at how clueless those who sign up for the board are about the every day operations of this agency. Example questions me and Director/buddy were asked that should be obvious to anyone that serves on the board:

We have computer classes??
We have a website??
Is that program meeting our organizational goal? (Don't you decide what our organizational goals are??)

We were actually sent out of the room by the facilitator for around 10-15 minutes. I think she was chewing out the board for our incredibly low salaries. Her jaw dropped when she asked what our budget was, and we told her $60,000. What about after you include salaries? That includes salaries. Shortly afterward, we were sent out of the room. I expect so that the board could say what it felt about the lack of money without us taking extreme offense and jumping to the obvious conclusion that we were "undervalued."

We'll see what comes of it. Right now, my brain is just toast.

-- Virgil

My mind's frustration weighs
Heavier than failure.
Alas, my heart and I
Know not how to endure.

- Sri Chinmoy

Were it not for
the excess of your talking
and the turmoil in your hearts,
you would see what I see
and hear what I hear!

- Ibn Arabi

Friday Night Hijinks

For the past Friday night or so, I've been having a beer and knocking down some pins at the campus bowling alley. Campus beer is pretty cheap, although you have to wear a stupid beer bracelet to drink it. It's kind of nice at the end of the week.
I didn't realize bowling could be so fun. I'm fairly bad at it--I have no footwork. I can't do that sexy little backstep when I release the ball, not yet, anyway. But the point of bowling is getting to watch other people's behinds when they do it right!

Also equally amusing is the band of geeks that seem to hang out there engaging in their favorite sport: Dance, Dance Revolution.

I have never seen anything funnier in my life. It's not exactly like they have rhythm, but they're good gamers, and so they hit all the right buttons with their feet. Sometimes the game even has them face each other and "dance." I hear schools are putting these things in to help overweight kids become active. These guys just look like bunnies on crack!

Come on down to the alley, and we'll drink cheap beer and watch the free entertainment!

-- Virgil